Community Health Services .::Returning To Work::.

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Home>Health Information>Infant Health>Returning to Work

Returning to Work

This page was reviewed or revised on Friday, August 14, 2009.

Children's Services Department

This page was reviewed or revised on Friday, August 14, 2009.

Choosing a Private Caregiver Types of Care

Mother's return to work after the birth of a baby can be difficult for both parents. It may seem that just as she is becoming familiar and accustomed to being a mom, it's time to go back to work. Parents find themselves having to balance their personal needs with a baby's needs, their need to nurture and be with their baby with a need to work. Some people re-evaluate their decision to return to work at this time; others re-evaluate their options.

Regarding being away from your child, you may feel:

ambivalent-about leaving your child with someone else.
guilty-for wanting or needing time away/others may disapprove of your working; society places emphasis on the mother/child relationship
worry-will baby miss me? Will he be harmed by my absence?
jealous-another person gets to be with the baby and possibly witness first time events/will the baby come to love them more than me?
anxious-is this person competent? What do I tell them about caring for the baby?
sadness-having to leave the baby
distracted while away-hard to concentrate on work

Having personal time away:

Parents need to pay attention to their own needs. If ignored, negative feelings can ultimately harm the relationship between the parent and child. If parents respect their own needs, the child will learn to respect the needs of others. Parents can feel more loving and giving if they've had time away or time for themselves. Parents need time alone individually as well as time away together to nurture their relationship.

Having work time away:

Feelings about returning to work depend on the reasons behind it. In today's economic climate, many families need two incomes, so women have financial pressures to work. For some, personal fulfilment is a factor. A woman who has become accustomed to working or who has a career she enjoys may feel more fulfilled by returning to work. It has been found that generally if mother is happy with her work, the family doesn't suffer (provided their needs are being met adequately). Every family needs to make its own decisions regarding work and childcare and arrive at the best solution.

There are several steps that you can take ahead of time to help you prepare for your return to work. Some of the suggestions that follow may help you to decide whether and when to return to work, others may help to make the return a smooth one for you and your child.

Before the baby arrives:

1. While you are still at work, check your personnel policy to find out what your options are about the length of maternity leave, benefits, paternity leave; as well as family leave and the use of sick leave once you return to work. Explore with your employer possibilities such as returning to work gradually, part-time work, job sharing or flexible work hours. Both parents must know what their employee options are. You may not decide what you will do until after the birth, but a clear understanding of what your work options are will help you to make your decisions.

2. Consider your child care alternatives ahead of time. Research each type of care, its advantages and disadvantages. Find out what local resources are available. Most types of care require some preliminary work in terms of contacting agencies, investigating waiting lists, and checking subsidy eligibility and availability. Visit some of the people or places you are considering before the baby is born. Think about what might work for your family. Try to decide on some of the very basics-type of care, cost, distance, a smoking or non-smoking environment.

3. Find out what babies need and what is good care for an infant. Think about what is important to you, for example, a one on one relationship? a caregiver who will mother you as well as your child? a very clean hygienic environment?

It may be difficult to set up care in advance without knowing what your baby's special needs may be. The important thing is to do the preliminary work and to keep your choices open.

When you have decided to return to work:

1. Give yourself plenty of time to find care. Choose what feels right for you and your baby. What works for another family may not be right for yours.

2. Leave your baby with others occasionally and increase the amount of time as your return to work approaches. If possible, choose care that allows you to start your baby gradually so that both of you can become accustomed to the new situation. If possible, return to work gradually by working a shorter day or on a part-time basis.

3 If you are breast-feeding, discuss options and alternatives with your health care professional ahead of time.

4. Give detailed information to the caregiver about your baby's wants and needs.

5. Make sure that both parents are involved in sharing the new family responsibilities of caring for the child and in making child care arrangements.

6. Plan to be involved in your child's care by communicating regularly with your child's caregiver; call, set up a joint log, meet regularly. Drop in occasionally to see how your child is adapting. (Some children will be confused and upset by mom's coming and going outside of the usual routine. Gauge your actions by their reactions).

7. Don’t plan any other new activities until you and your child feel adjusted. This is not a time to change regular routines.

8. A child may have distinct reactions to being separated from mother: he may seem angry with mom; ignore her when she comes to pick him up; say "no", push mom away or refuse to make eye contact. Mom needs to accept the child's reaction; spend extra time with him when first home after work. Don't overcompensate by changing the behaviour limits normally observed. Be consistent. Try not to let guilt be your companion.

9. Arrange for backup care in case of emergency situations, ie. your child or caregiver becomes ill. Introduce your child to these arrangements.

10. Plan ahead and simplify your life for the first few months eg. stock your freezer, set up routines.

11. Have realistic expectations. It takes much of your time and energy to adjust to being a working family. Convey a positive attitude to the child.

References:

Resource Sheet developed by the Canadian Child Day Care Federation and the Canadian Association of Toy Libraries and Parent Resource Centres. Ross, K. A Parents' Guide to Day Care. Self-Counsel Press: Vancouver, 1990.

Choosing a Private Caregiver

What Do You Need to Consider?

Personal Qualities/Health: the age of your child/the hours and days of care needed/distance & transportation/cost/flexibility of service/the type of care desired

Ask or observe for the following:

Why do you want to care for children in your home/my home?
What experience/education re child care/development do you have?
What references can you give?
Are you in good health? Do you smoke?
What sanitary precautions will you follow? (eg. hand washing, toileting)
Do you have pets? Are their shots up to date? Is pet refuse out of child's reach? If there is a sandbox, is it covered when not in use to protect from animal refuse?
What is your policy regarding a child who is ill or recovering?

Child Development Beliefs:

What is your general philosophy regarding child rearing and discipline? (Is it similar to yours- Will she follow your wishes?)
How would you handle, for example-a temper tantrum, biting, etc.?
Watch how the caregiver interacts with your baby or other children in the home.
What is the daily routine?
What kinds of activities does she intend to involve the child in?
How does she use the television? Will she follow your wishes regarding its use?

Safety of the Environment

What arrangements have been made to ensure safety in your home? in the outside play area? in the use of infant equipment and toys? Do you have an emergency exit plan; First Aid kit, CPR training?

General Environment

How much room is available-is there adequate space for the growing child to do large muscle motor activities?
Does the home meet satisfactory cleanliness standards? Or is the happiness of the child(ren) more important?
Ask yourself: Do you feel comfortable in the home? Would you like to come and stay the day?

Operating Procedures:

What is the fee schedule? 1) rate 2) How (cash, cheque); 3) When (weekly, monthly). Will you issue a receipt?
Do you require payment if my child doesn't come on a scheduled day? How much notice is required?
How many children do you care for regularly? (It is illegal for one person to care for more than five children under the age of 10 years at any one time including her own. If a home takes in six or more children, that setting must be licensed as a day care centre).
What other adults might be present?
Who will care for my child(ren) if you are unable to, because of illness, emergency or vacation?
If the caregiver is coming to your home, need to negotiate expected household duties such as meal preparation, dishes, laundry, etc.

Types of Care

NANNY CARE: Most nannies are professionally trained to provide childcare. They may or may not live in. A small amount of housework may be negotiated.

Advantages:

can match the person with your child and your needs
the child can receive individualized affection and attention and have a one-to-one relationship
care is provided in your home which eliminates transportation; the child is in familiar surroundings; nanny can look after sick child

Disadvantages:

high cost
no back up person
may have to wait for a period of time if nanny is coming from another country.
may have some language barrier.
isolation can become a problem with an older child-needs more stimulation than one person

FAMILY DAY CARE: Care is given by relatives, friends or neighbours and is usually in the provider's home.

Advantages:

ready accessibility in most neighbourhoods
affordable for most people
sick children can be cared for in family day care-by pre-arrangement
adult-child ratios are usually good
find someone who shares your values and child-rearing style
can be close to home or be a familiar person

Disadvantages:

can lack stability. People's life circumstances are apt to change
back-up care may be needed
caregivers may feel isolated or frustrated, possibly resulting in less than optimal care
in private and unsupervised arrangements there may be accountability problems. (Emphasis on very careful selection by the parents)

SUPERVISED DAY CARE: refers to government or agency selected day care homes, which are organized into a childcare network. Early childhood educators or social workers choose providers and match them to families who need day care. Child development education is usually offered and a field worker visits the day care home.

Advantages:

professional screening of provider
usually government subsidized

Disadvantages:

usually only available to low income users/single parents
cannot choose the provider
monitoring of provider usually occurs once/month or less

GROUP DAY CARE: facilities where children are grouped, usually by age, and cared for together. They are regulated by legislation and are licensed and supervised accordingly.

Advantages:

trained staff
learning and care programs are specifically designed for young children
equipment and toys are age-appropriate and age relevant activities are planned and carried out
socialization with same age children
are reliable-won't move or stop its service and usually open for long hours each day

Disadvantages:

sick children cannot come to the centre, therefore, will need back up care
child may suffer from more infectious diseases
may not be enough adult-to-child attention available for the individual child
privacy may be at a premium
may be too much stimulation for the individual child
more expensive than family day care
fee structure usually allows only for minimal vacation time and child must attend a minimum number of days/week

Infant Care Alternatives in Lambton County

Nannies:

See Yellow Pages in Telephone book. Toll free number

Private Home Child Care: (your home or theirs)

check with friends, churches, neighbours, relatives, professional health providers, etc.
advertise in newspapers, grocery store, church, laundry bulletin boards

Group Day Care:

See Day Care Centres & Nurseries in the Yellow Pages of the telephone book)

Approved Home Child Care:

Lambton Rural Home Child Care, Phone 882-3480.